Sunday, March 8, 2009

I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in with me

Ah Watchmen, it’s been a long few months since that first trailer. I had read the graphic novel last fall when the hype for the movie started and though I'm not a big comic reader it was enthralling and a great read. I didn’t have years of reading it over and over and building up expectations, I just knew I was excited to see this story playing out on the big screen.


it had without a doubt one of the best opening credit sequences I have ever seen, it actually stirred in me the biggest emotional response of any scene in the movie. This was both a pro and a con because outside of the Comedian’s encounter with Silk Specter, I found myself reacting on an emotional level to very little else. In the original comic, Laurie’s revelation towards the end of the story had me in tears but here it fell flat, it felt under-developed and there was just very little impact to it. This was a criticism I was aware of going in that this film lacked heart and unfortunately I too found this to be the case as while I liked Nite Owl and the like I wasn’t feeling anything for them. This lack of an emotional core definitely hurts the film somewhat and probably led to many feeling the film was overly long because they were not emotionally attached to the story and its characters.


Where I disagree with the criticism is that I didn’t see any weak performances amongst the cast. Malin Ackerman has been picked on considerably but I thought she was fine, as was Matthew Goode. I’m more inclined to blame the director for weak performances however as what often happens is you see the director focusing a little more on the visuals and the style of the film and as a result the performance and emotional aspects of the film suffer, see the Matrix sequels or Star Wars Episodes 1-3 as examples.


Ultimately however, the style and story carry the picture ably and the length was just fine for me as I was interested enough to see where they were taking things to see it through to completion. Not to mention that from the costumes through to the set design and the casting, it was astonishing how excellent a job they did of recreating what I had seen in those original comic panels. Jeffrey Dean Morgan IS The Comedian in all his twisted glory and Patrick Wilson was eminently likable as Dreiberg/Nite Owl. Jackie Earle Haley excelled as Rorschach, totally becoming the character and while some complained about his voice, it was less silly-sounding than Christian Bale’s when he’s under the cowl. Also, the change in the ending worked a lot better than the original would have in movie form I think just because for the original to make sense would have taken far more explanation because let’s face it, the original ending was pretty wacky.


Despite the length, I was left wanting more! I wanted to see more of the cops investigating the murders, I want to see the Black Freighter segments in there, I want to see more of the staff of the right wing newspaper. Hopefully when this film gets a home release there will be a ridiculously long director’s cut that gives me what I crave. Watchmen isn’t for everybody and has divided people almost down the middle, I found the pros vastly outweigh the cons and I would urge everybody with any interest at all in seeing it to check it out and form their own opinion. It isn’t quite The Dark Knight but, you know, what is?

Monday, December 29, 2008

Street Fighter and Movie must never meet

Did you see the trailer for that thing? Egad.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Maru

Ladies and Gentlemen..... Maru, the greatest cat who ever lived.





Need more convincing?






Truly one of the greats.


Saturday, December 6, 2008

Genius

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Cultural Terrorism - the New Threat to America


Stephen Baldwin was recently quoted as saying that Barack Obama is “a cultural terrorist” and no matter your political views, one cannot help but think of the well known phrase about people in glass houses calling the kettle black. Lets look at some of the wonderful contributions to modern culture Stephen Baldwin has given to society before his head was seemingly filled with some sort of gas.

BIO-DOME
Where else could you start but the movie that failed miserably to launch the career of Paulie Shore? As second fiddle to Mr. Shore, he managed to be even less entertaining than its star, coming off as some fifth-rate Alex Winters wannabe only approximately 100 times as awful as that sounds. The two play Bud and Doyle, irredeemably idiotic dolts with inexplicably hot girlfriends who through a series of hilarious mishaps end up locked inside the bio-dome of the title. Kylie Minogue is in it, as is poor William Atherton who after playing characters like Walter Peck in Ghostbusters and Richard Thornburg in Die Hard deserved far better. They start off as moronic goofs without a care in the world with no direction in their lives and by the end of the movie they become moronic goofs with the vaguest understanding of “the environment” on par with your average 9 year old. Ironically, Stephen’s political circle might now argue that there is NO environmental problem and global warming is in fact just due to incremental climate change that the planet would be going through anyway. Drill, baby, drill!

POSSE
Stephen also appeared in this, a rambling, incoherent Mario Van Peebles vanity project about black infantrymen returning from the Spanish/American war fighting mean Billy Zane over the future of a tiny town in the Old West. Baldwin plays ‘Little J’, the typical goofball bumpkin turned gunslinger but quickly fades into the background as Van Peebles stuffs the film as full of the likes of Pam Grier, Big Daddy Kane, ‘Tiny’ Lister Jr., Isaac Hayes and his own father Melvin just so none of them gets enough time on screen to do anything worthwhile. A love scene between Mario and his love interest is just plain bizarre as the camera spends more time lovingly panning over his sculpted physique that it does depicting any sort of love between the two of them. The film grinds to an utter halt as the film decides to stop building a story that makes any sense and lurches right to the conclusion. Does Baldwin’s character even survive? I can’t remember.

SLAPSHOT 2
Why? Just. Why.

SHARK IN VENICE
I haven’t actually seen this but this sounds fantastic:
The seemingly tranquil waterways of Venice are terrorized by the perfect killing machine. In search of his father who has mysteriously disappeared diving in the city, David stumbles across the cryptic trail leading to the long-lost fortune of the Medici. As the unwitting pawn in a Mafia plot to recover the treasure, David's girlfriend is kidnapped at gunpoint, plunging him into a desperate race against time. If he has any hope of saving her he must enter the deadly waters. Can David out-gun the Mafia assassins and survive the voracious sharks laying in wait beneath the surface, or will he succumb to the same fate as his father?
Expect a review of this one from me!

A visit to IMDB also tells us he was in the following:
*The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas – what better way to celebrate a dismal live action adaptation of a classic cartoon by following it up with a even cruddier straight to video sequel without any of the original cast?
*The Sex Monster – the enlightened, post-feminist tale of a man that convinces his wife to let them have a threesome and she’s turned into a crazed lesbian nymphomaniac. A perfect double bill with She Hate Me.
*The Usual Suspects – just kidding.

So you get the general idea. Stephen Baldwin has committed far more DEEP HURTING with some of his films than Barack Obama ever could have. Unless Obama’s deep dark secret is that he wrote Robocop 3.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Nerd Epithany

I don't know if this is the case for every nerd on the planet, but I know for me that despite my behavior for many years of my life I had no idea I was any kind of a nerd. I'm probably not as smart as the nerd stereotype, nor am I quite obsessive about anything in particular though I do have my passions. Here are just a few of the clues that I somehow missed as to my condition:

*Loved Star Trek: the Next Generation
*Loved Babylon 5 even more
*Favourite movies ever are Star Trek 2: the Wrath of Khan, Bladerunner and Tron
*Went to a Bruce Boxleitner book signing
*Wrote for a wrestling website for two years
*Met my wife through said website
*Created own website (complete with poorly self-taught HTML written in Wordpad) and wrote about obscure and bad movies for three years
*Spent countless hours posting on message boards about Godzilla and Hong Kong movies
*Own more than one DVD version of several movies

However, there was one event that finally clued me in and life turned the mirror around so I could see what a hopeless nerd I really was. It was a chilly day in March, 2006. After leaving the video game store I worked in (hey, that's ANOTHER clue!) my wife and I found our way over to Best Buy. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion came out that day and I decided to pick it up (CLUE) for the PC (definitely a BIG clue). I wasn't done though, I needed some new music to listen to also so I began to walk the numerous aisles of CDs in search of something good. I finally settled on Trilogy by Yngwie J. Malmsteen, luckily he had his middle initial in there so I wouldn't confuse him with all the other Yngwie Malmsteens. Satisfied, I take my choices to the nearest register to make my purchase.

The girl at the counter shoots me a slightly perplexed look as I hand over the items and my Nerd Epithany hit me like a bullet train. I had purchased the biggest fantasy game of the year featuring numerous knights, magicains, swords, monsters, ghouls and ghosts, all manner of fantasy goodies waiting to feel the wrath of my cold, hard steel. This one game in of itself wouldn't be a big deal, but I was also buying this:



Even if you are not familiar with Yngwie J. Malmsteen and his particular blend of classic music inspired gutiar histrionics, did you see that cover? It depicts a man in spandex fighting a dragon with a guitar. Good GOD.

So that's my sad, sad story. What's yours? When did you realise what a gigantic irredeemably nerdy person you are or are you still in denial?

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Dragonball Teaser Trailer

Well, the embed code for this trailer doesn't work. So why is it there? Well anyway, you can check it out here. This crap is going to be horrible.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I Got Hacked

Yeah, by some dipshit in Turkey apparently. I'll just do something simple like this for now until I figure out what to do about it, bastard changed my password so I can't get in to fix it.

Got Rock Band 2 early and you didn't, HA.